So tired, So exhausted. I need some sleep desperately, but here I am in a London underground finding my way to Princes Royal Hospital, Bromley, an hour away from Heathrow Airport. I ended my 14 days working nonstop (except only for sleep) yesterday. Most of those days I only manage to sleep 3-6 hrs a day. Being a bad sleeper, that was definitely not enough particularly when I had to sleep during the day. The light, the noise was unbearable. It was a struggle to keep my eyes open, let alone to concentrate on whatever I was doing at work. Last night for example, I felt asleep while writing a patient's note. That is how bad it was. I woke up from the doze just before I hit my head on the table, and there I was trying to make sense of what I had written. For the first seconds I tried to figure out whether I couldn't read the note because of my sleepiness or because of my nonsensical writings, more like a scribble. It was the latter, so I had to reread and rewrite it as it was a legal document. That kept me a awake for a while.....well, not for long, about for 5 mins, and then I dozed off again.
The same problem I had to endure on the way back driving home from work. Few times I fell asleep, only to be awakened by something (my guardian angel probably if it really exists) before I hit something or someone. It was a painful effort to concentrate. I shook my head every so often, like someone who has tourette syndrome, controlling my breathing, breath in breath out, as oxygen deprivation can worsen sleepiness, scrolled down the car window albeit a freezing, cold wind coming in, turned up the radio volume to the max and sang along with my awful tone of voice....The tricks gave me a little help to reach home safely. Thanks God for that.
I got home yesterday at 1030, didn't go to bed till 12 midday, slept for 4 hrs, then got ready to travel to London, flight was delayed and I didn't get to the Ibis Hotel till eleven p.m., then I went frantic when I discovered there was no internet access and i didn't know the way to the hospital. As usual Andrew came to the rescue and texted me all the information I needed to get there on time. By the time all done, it was nearly 1 am, got up at 6am and here I am in a battle to keep myself awake and I still have 8 hrs of lecture to attend. Dont know how I am going to keep my head up for the lecture.
All I want to do now is to sleep, hoping someone will wake me up tomorrow with a kiss. Ah, well, aren't we all living in hope?
4 years ago